Have a Helping Halloween

Halloween is perhaps my favorite holiday, and it's also the occasion of two of my favorite ways for kids to make a difference. Encourage your children to Trick or Treat for UNICEF, so they can help kids in need all over the world, or participate in Sight Night and get eyeglasses to those who so desperately need them. Either choice will make candy rewards feel all the more richly deserved.

Help for the Unemployed

Last week I promised to share ways that you can make a difference for a friend, colleague or family member who has lost his or her job. Consider the following:

> Offer to help, but don't push; let your friend define how you can lend support. You may assume that sending job leads is the best strategy, but s/he may prefer interview practice or just a listening ear.

> If you have good contacts, by all means share them, but get their permission first. Simply passing along names to your friend can put him in an uncomfortable position, especially when your contact has no idea who your friend is or why s/he is being contacted. Pave the way with advance notice or, better yet, a personal or mutual email introduction.

> Think of different ways you can help: Is your resume a winner? Offer to review your friend's. Or maybe you can conduct mock interviews, proofread cover letters or research potential leads.

> Ask your friend whether or not s/he wants you to inquire how the hunt is going. It's great that you're interested, but to a frustrated job-hunter, regular inquiries can feel like unwelcome pressure or confirmation of failure.

> Give your help freely, without expectation; don't get upset if your friend doesn't follow up every lead.

> Supply resources other than job leads: referrals to unemployment benefits, health care help, utility bill assistance, food stamps, mental health resources and job-hunt support groups can be even more valuable.

> Recognize how an unemployed person's social life changes, but don't abandon your cash-strapped friend. Realize that food, gas, movies, dining out and ticketed events may no longer be an option. Even better than offering to pay her way, which can make your friend feel like a charity case, suggest doing things that don't cost money. Drop by with dinner and a DVD, attend free performances or festivals, ask her to bring music for the party instead of wine or food. Don't leave your pal out of events such as a birthday celebration at a pricey restaurant; suggest that he or she drop by, or meet you before or after.

> Is a birthday or holiday approaching? Consider gifts carefully. Your friend might welcome the luxury of dinner out. Or maybe that seems wasteful and what s/he really needs is a grocery or gas gift card, the registration fee for a professional conference or seminar, a salon visit or a new interview outfit.

> Above all, resist judgment. It's easy to get exasperated and think that your friend just isn't trying hard enough. But many job-seekers are struggling with a crisis of self-confidence or even depression and are doing the best they can.

Do you have other suggestions? Please share them here.

Easing Our Economic Burdens

I was remarking to a friend recently that cable news is reporting only two stories these days: the U.S. presidential election and the economic crisis. Whether or not you are affected personally – and it’s likely that you are, on some level – you surely know friends and neighbors who are struggling to hold onto retirement funds, jobs or homes. So I am going to start posting ways that we can help not just ourselves, but others who are facing unimaginable losses and need a thoughtful referral, a kind gesture, a sympathetic acknowledgment.

If you or someone you know could use some support and/or discussion with kindred spirits, here are two places that offer relief:

Moving Forward was started by a couple going through foreclosure in California. The nonprofit organization helps homeowners to avoid foreclosure or, failing that, to cope with the accompanying stress. The group meets in Ventura County, but you can participate in an online discussion at the site’s blog. And take a look at their Web site; you may be inspired to start your own local support group.

For a lively exchange of money-saving ideas and resources, including coupons and good deals listed by state, visit PinchingYourPennies.com. You can also join the online community of folks coping with financial anxieties in the site’s forums.

Check back in the coming weeks for more supportive sources, or subscribe via email or RSS feed. Next, I’ll offer tips on how to help a friend who’s unemployed.