Those Who Judge

Today a jury gave its verdict in the re-trial of Andrea Yates, who said she heard voices that told her to drown her five children in a bathtub. Not guilty, by reason of insanity. Whether or not you have trouble feeling compassion for Andrea Yates, surely we would feel less conflicted if our justice system revised its language. In a culture that routinely abandons personal responsibility, wouldn't we do better to render such defendants "guilty and insane"?

In Warriors' Words

I wrote about war in July's issue of Waking Up on the Planet. It's easy to apply compassion priciples to the horror of war, but much more challenging to define the appropriately compassionate response to those whose job is to wage that war. We hear all the time that people "oppose the war but support the troops." But what, exactly, does it mean to support them?

Back in May, The Washington Post ran a feature titled "Voices of 100 Veterans" and let them share their perspectives. Their divergent views showed just how misguided we might be when offering support in the forms we think they need. Some examples:

"You know what was really amazing? The people who said, '...you know, I don't support the cause, but .... I'm always going to support the troops.' I was just dumbfounded by that. I asked this one guy why you don't support the cause. He said, 'I've been watching the news.' 'Well,' I said, 'that's your problem.' "

"Sometimes it hurts to know Americans have all but forgotten us. America has totally forgotten about Afghanistan."

"It's hard to look at Americans and not say, 'You are fat, lazy, and have no idea what you have.' The very first time I go into McDonald's and hear someone complaining that there isn't enough ice in their Coke, I'm going to punch them in the face."

"I felt a little undeserving because of all the thanks I received. I felt like I was just doing my job."

"[When we landed back home,] you could smell the grass...I hadn't smelled that smell for a year. It hit me and made me realize I was home."

These are just examples of the variety of attitudes any given soldier might have, and even these may change over time. So how can you know what to do or say? Listen.