No Place to Call Home

The current housing crisis in the United States gives us plenty of opportunity to practice compassion. Some say they have no sympathy for people who bought houses they couldn't afford. But the story is much more complex, with so many now suffering the fallout. Homeowners who would sell if they could, trapped in the continuing downturn. Neighbors whose property values plummet with each new foreclosure on the block. Lenders who counted on real estate values rising ever higher, justifying reckless loan terms. Renters who find themselves suddenly homeless as landlords lose houses to banks. Children who must leave friends, schools, even favorite possessions, in the wake of their family's financial ruin.

"Bill Moyers Journal" addressed the issues eloquently on its July 18 program. The episode makes clear that there is plenty of heartache to go around.

One category of victims you only occasionally hear about are the animal companions abandoned when owners or renters must go to a temporary home or shelter that won't permit animals. No Paws Left Behind is doing something about it, and you can, too, by visiting its Web site.

You can do something about the human toll, too, just by suspending the assumption that "they got what they deserve." Encourage your local leaders to come up with solutions for managing abandoned houses and relocating renters. Start a helpful dialog on your local newspaper's editorial page. Recognize that homelessness is fast on the rise and looks surprisingly like the folks next door.

Share the Difference, Win the Revolution

Like minds Sam Davidson and Stephen Moseley have written a book that sounds mighty useful (and slightly familiar!), New Day Revolution: How to Save the World in 24 Hours. You can win a signed copy by sharing your favorite ways to make a difference through the daily choices you make. Why not click on over and express your everyday altruism?

Conquering Cruelty

This past weekend, I attended a conference on animal welfare. Near the end of the day, a fellow attendee confessed to me that she was tired and discouraged. She had spent the weekend viewing acts of extraordinary human cruelty against animals, and despite the efforts of so many compassionate advocates, she couldn’t imagine that behavior changing in her lifetime.

Her despair reminded me of Larry King’s interview with Ingrid Betancourt, who was recently released after being held as a hostage for seven years in the Colombian jungle. When asked to name the worst thing she had to endure, Betancourt didn’t mention a particular torture tactic, or the long years apart from her family, or the effects of a failed escape attempt. After a long, thoughtful silence, she said the worst thing was “realizing that ... human beings can be so horrible to other human beings.”

Being confronted with the human capacity for cruelty can shake our faith to its core. We recognize that there are limits to our reasoned arguments, our pleas for mercy. When we hit the wall of ultimate indifference, we can only look to ourselves for redemption. Our choice is to surrender, to believe that hatred conquers all, or to affirm a more powerful force that elevates all humanity.

Betancourt has triumphed; against all odds, she has already resolved to forgive her captors. In doing so, she reclaims her power. I hope my fellow animal advocate can redirect her energies from anger against those who do harm, to the larger mission of caring for our fellow creatures. Her heart is greater than the conflict at hand, and the innocents need all of its might.

3 Reasons The Difference Still Makes Me Smile

My book, The Difference a Day Makes, was published three years ago, which the industry considers a lifetime. But expressing the humanity we have in common, in simple, daily ways, seems to have a long shelf-life; the book is still selling nicely, and this week, it was the #1 bestseller in its category on Amazon.com. That means our community of Everyday Altruists is growing every day.

And speaking of sales rankings, another thing that makes me happy is the good fortune I had to interview Greg Mortenson as one of the “expert voices” in The Difference a Day Makes. Greg’s book about his personal quest to build schools for girls in Afghanistan and Pakistan, Three Cups of Tea, was the #1 nonfiction paperback on this week’s Washington Post bestseller list, and it was the first book club choice for Body + Soul magazine readers. Among other experts I had the privilege of speaking with, all of whom are still busy building a better world, are Wayne Pacelle, president and CEO of the Humane Society of the United States; Sarah Brady, honorary chair of the Brady Campaign to End Gun Violence (read my article about her and husband Jim here); and Bill Shore, founder and executive director of Share Our Strength. Having these extraordinary leaders lend remarks to Difference is an honor for which I am truly grateful.

A third thing that brings a smile to my face is an email I received recently from a reader in New Zealand. Having discovered my book in her local library, she wrote: “Living in a world where so much negativity abounds, hearing or reading comments of an encouraging nature has such a positive effect on my soul. We encouragers need all the encouragement we can get.”

Let us all be encouragers. Tips for green living are all the rage right now, and I’m glad the first chapter of Difference is about Nature Nurture. But what makes me hopeful is that the other chapters offer the same simple recipes for fighting poverty and homelessness, ending violence and hunger, honoring animals and elders and more. So while we’re waiting for the Al Gore of compassionate living to come forth and make it trendy, why not start our own quiet revolution? Tell your friends, engage your social network, write to your newspaper, adopt The Difference a Day Makes as your community group’s project. I guarantee you'll smile.

Curbing Offensive Phoning

Sometimes "compassionate action" is as simple as employing common consideration. July is Cell Phone Courtesy Month. Have you gotten so accustomed to those voices in your ear that you're ignoring the humanity around you? Try to mind your wireless manners by:

> Letting calls go to voicemail when you're in others' company.
> Turning your phone off, or to vibrate, at public performances, presentations and ceremonies; at the library, movies and museums; and in any place where a ringing phone will disrupt an otherwise peaceful environment.
> Foregoing calls while driving. If you're paying attention to the road, you can't give your call buddy the full attention he or she deserves. And no one likes their conversation to be interrupted by tunnels, toll booths or other interferences. You'll be doing your fellow drivers a favor, too.
> Using text messaging to receive and send urgent, but brief, news.
> Recognizing that you're not alone. Do you really want a store-ful of strangers to hear the details of your love life?

For more on cell phone courtesy, check out Modern Manners Guy.

Help Midwest Flood Victims

If you don't live in the American midwest, or in another area where rising waters have destroyed all you own, it may be hard to imagine leaving behind your home, the things you love, and maybe even the animal companions who depend on you in a sudden evacuation. Finding yourself waist-high in a toxic soup, trying to get yourself and your loved ones to safety. Bunking down in a temporary shelter with little more than the clothes on your back, not knowing what comes next. These are the hardships our fellow citizens are enduring in Iowa and surrounding states right now, and here are a few things you can do to help:

If you live in the area...

Grab some friends and volunteer to sandbag or help clean up once the waters recede. Find out where and how to pitch in at any of these three sites:
WGEM Quincy, Illinois
KCRG-TV Cedar Rapids, Iowa
2008flood.org

Can you take in someone’s animal companion temporarily, as a foster caretaker, while they are in a shelter that doesn’t accommodate dogs and cats? If not, local shelters are accepting donations of goods as well; read about the Iowa City Animal Care and Adoption Center’s needs here.


Whether you live near or far...
Ask your local coffeehouse or bookstore to host an evening of readings and/or music around the theme of rising waters and pass a hat for donations to be sent to one of these relief organizations:
American Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund
Mennonite Disaster Services

If you have a Web site or blog, download a Red Cross donation button and post it on your site.

Inform yourself, then tell a friend. Check out these up-to-the-minute reports, where you'll find photos, video and more:
Topix Midwest Floods report
Humane Society of the United States blog
American Red Cross blog

Remember, no effort is too small. You can make a difference in another's struggle and turn rising waters into a river of hope.

Cash Conversion

$299.95 =
Cost of a Pink SUV Pet Stroller from the Beverly Hills Mutt Club

Cost to provide medical supplies to care for 6 shelter animals, from rescue to adoption, at the Animal Rescue Foundation in Walnut Creek, Calif.

In Print, On Purpose

I write about the benefits of good neighboring in the current (May) issue of Natural Health Magazine. It's the "Make One Change" feature on the issue's last page. (In March, I wrote a "Make One Change" about donating your old eyeglasses to those in need.) You may want to check it out before it disappears from newsstands.

Promote Peace This Weekend

Monday is Memorial Day in the United States, a day to remember all those who have died in a war. To date, 4079 U.S. troops have lost their lives in Iraq. The number of Iraqi civilians killed isn’t reported by the U.S. government, but the lowest estimates range from some 84,000 to just under 92,000. Numbers like these can be numbing, hard to translate into human suffering. In America, we are prevented from seeing the coffins arriving at Dover Air Force Base, the funerals at Arlington Cemetery and small towns all over the country, the weeping mothers and wives, brothers and sisters whose loved ones will never come home.

This weekend, let’s remember each of them, as well as those who have died in other wars around the globe, at the appointed hour of 11 a.m., wherever you live, with a Prayer for Peace. You’ll find one here, and another in a downloadable mp3 file here. (Click on Prayer for Peace MP3.) And if you know someone who has lost someone in the devastation of war, send a note to let them know they aren’t forgotten.

Make a Difference in Myanmar

Eleven days after a cyclone devasted Myanmar, relief efforts are finally beginnng to make a bit of progress. While restrictions on reporters are limiting the amount of photos and video coming out of the country, those images that have emerged depict extraordinary suffering. If you are moved to help, here are some simple options:

Use the press releases and other information at the UN Refugee Agency's Web site to write a letter to the editor of your local paper, asking readers to help.

Buy graduation, wedding or Father's Day gifts at heartof.com or iGive.com and designate Myanmar-involved World Vision, Save the Children or the International Rescue Committee as your chosen charity. A percentage of your purchases from popular retailers will be donated to your designated cause at no extra expense to you.

Tell a teacher about the UN Refugee Agency’s resources for classrooms. Kids can then come up with their own ideas for reaching out to Myanmar's children.

Support the efforts of UNICEF by using Windows Live™ Messenger or Windows Live Hotmail®, Each time you use these free services, Microsoft donates a portion of ad revenue to the organization you choose.

Download a CARE International ringtone; remind yourself and your companions to take meaningful action every time your phone rings.

Cash donations allow relief organizations to purchase more than individuals can, buy locally from survivors, and direct aid to where it's needed most. Here are some reputable aid groups that are accepting donations for their work in Myanmar:

World Food Programme:
CARE International:
UN Refugee Agency:

Are You Turning Green?

"Green" living tips are everywhere these days, which is a good thing. Maybe you've bought energy-efficient lightbulbs and started turning out the lights when you leave a room, or maybe you buy locally grown food and drive a hybrid car. Whatever your shade of green, do you ever wonder how well you're doing? I just discovered a fun Web site that measures how many Planet Earths we would need to sustain us if everyone on the planet lived your or my lifestyle. I think I'm pretty mindful of the choices I make; I recycle, eat few processed foods, and telecommute -- and when I drive, I'm in a fuel-efficient compact car. Some choices aren't mine to make: I can't alter my home, for instance, since I rent. Still, I was surprised to learn that my habits requre 4.5 planets. Ouch! If you'd like to find out how many planets your life requires, go play Consumer Consequences. And if you're brave (or proud) enough, please share your results!

Death at the Derby

Among animal "sports" -- from greyhound racing and dog fighting, to rodeo and bullfighting -- horse racing is surely the most widely accepted, the least questioned. And yet an average of twice a day in the United States, a horse sustains an injury or fatality that ends its racing career, according to an editorial in the Washington Post. A USA Today blog reports that, from 2004 to 2006, at just one race track -- California's Del Mar -- 55 horses died racing. It happened again at this past weekend's Kentucky Derby, when filly Eight Belles crossed the finish line and collapsed on the track, both front ankles broken. Not wishing to offend viewers' sensibilities, NBC turned its cameras away as veterinarians euthanized the animal behind shielding ambulances.

When so much is done to block our view, it's time to insist on a closer look. The fate of Eight Belles, along with 2006 Derby-winner Barbaro and other, less famous equines, has renewed discussions of thoroughbred overbreeding. Genetically designed for speed, these beautiful animals often end up out of balance, with bones that can't support their objectives. Drugs that enhance performance and/or mask injury are still used routinely, despite Congressional hearings intended to regulate them. And you only have to watch the Derby to see more evidence of human insensitivity: jockeys repeatedly whacking their horses with riding crops to get them to go faster, and faster. If horses love racing so much, as owners, trainers and jockeys insist, why do they need a crack to the shoulder or rump to goad them on?

Horse racing isn't going away anytime soon; it's backed by multi-million-dollar commerce and the gambling industry, a powerful blend of money-making machinery. But if you don't see the point of subjecting these magnificent creatures to distress -- or death -- simply for the sake of entertainment, you can take a stand. Write to TV networks that broadcast races and tell them you -- and maybe your friends? -- aren't watching. Write to sponsoring advertisers and tell them you won't buy their brands. Support sanctuaries that provide a safe home for retired race horses. And read more about the issue at the following sites, so you can have meaningful conversations with family, friends and colleagues. It's easy to be lulled into blind acceptance of cruel practices when they're dressed up with parties, tradition and potential winnings, large and small. But if you have a heart for the animals at our mercy, you'll recognize our incalcuable loss.
For more information:

Overview from In Defense of Animals

Drugs in horse racing

More drugs in horse racing

Links to stories

Polls Are Polarizing

I will know we have made real progress in race relations when the media no longer talks about the black vote, the Hispanic vote, the white male vote, etc. Can there be any better way to emphasize our differences than to divide us by ethnicity and report information accordingly? Why is this necessary? Does it advance our understanding of the issues or tell us anything about the candidates that will aid our decision? And how simplistic (and inaccurate) is it to imply that African Americans vote for this person, or women nominate that person, or a certain social class supports one candidate, when we are all individuals with as many reasons for our vote as the qualities and quirks that make each of us unique?

You can slice us up and categorize us any way you wish. If the media needs to fill its airwaves with polling results – another practice I take issue with, and I might, in another post – then why not measure the Viewers of “American Idol” vote, the Pet-Owners’ vote or the People Who Eat Cupcakes vote? It would be so much less divisive and certainly more interesting. As it is, our media coverage announces to the world that we have only three ethnic groups whose vote matters (hear much about the Asian or American Indian vote?) and that the differences among them are assumed and significant. I call that racism. If it bothers you, too, refuse to participate in political polls – unless they ask if you eat cupcakes.

A Call for Help in Congo

A recent episode of "60 Minutes" featured the women of the Democratic Republic of the Congo who live in constant fear of vicious rape by warring militias. It's difficult to imagine what they endure, but you can do something in response. Visit Women for Women International and learn more about this ongoing tragedy; then send a message of hope, or take another simple action on behalf of women around the globe.

Wounded and Wiser

I’ve talked before about the unique ability we have to help others heal from pain we’ve experienced ourselves. Those who have suffered, whether from violence or illness or unexpected tragedy, are uniquely qualified to light a path for people who must find their way through a similar forest. We see this every time a crime victim, school dropout or bereaved parent launches an effort to restore justice, engage students or support the grieving.

Larry King recently interviewed Lee Thomas, a TV broadcaster in Detroit who has vitiligo, an incurable disease that is turning his black skin white. You can read the transcript or download the podcast about Thomas’s struggle here. The interview was truly compelling, but what stuck with me was Thomas's assertion that his affliction "has made me the man I always wanted to be." He said he is more understanding, more compassionate. He is in touch with the struggles of others, and with children who have vitiligo in particular. He is using his high media profile to bring much-needed attention and acceptance to a condition that often generates despair.

Similarly, a newly released book, Strong at the Broken Places, profiles ordinary people with various chronic health challenges who are triumphing, emotionally, in the face of great odds. The author, Richard Cohen, has multiple sclerosis and is a colon cancer survivor. The book is giving hope to those who battle illness every day, as well as to those of us with our own "broken places" awaiting transformation.

What are your broken places? What might you offer to others who share a similar experience or challenge? Take a small, initial step and feel the healing begin.

Want Fries With Your Cloneburger?

Amid growing trends toward eating fresh, locally and organic, I was jarred by a recent news report about the FDA's imminent approval of milk and meat from cloned animals. I don't know about you, but I have no desire to ingest the latest natural interference, be it cloned meat or genetically "enhanced" produce -- especially unwittingly. (So far, the FDA hasn't established any mandatory labeling of these foods.) And given its track record over the last few years, do you want to trust the FDA with determining the safety, both short- and long-term, of what you and your family put into your bodies? Enjoy the lighter side of the issue by listening to The Cow Cloning Song; then write to your legislators and the FDA to tell them how you feel. And if you've ever thought about it, this might be a good time to become a vegetarian.

New Year, New Practice

As promised in the most recent issue of my e-newsletter, Waking Up on the Planet, I am reviving and re-launching this blog in the new year. My intention is to post here every week (Tuesday afternoons) ... starting January 8. I'll be providing the same tips, resources and "Wake-Up Calls" subscribers are used to seeing, plus some notes about my life as a writer/author and more personal adventures. In the next few weeks, you'll be able to set up a feed if you'd like to get these posts in your email. In the meantime, please bookmark this page and return every week. And by all means, share your comments! More coming soon...

Is Self-Help More Harmful Than Helpful?

What if none of these is true?:

"Do what you love; the money will follow."
"As long as you work hard, you can be anything you want."
"Believe, and you’ll achieve."
"You get what you deserve."
"You can think your way to success."
"Anyone can get rich."
"Nice people finish first."
"What you put out into the world, you get in return."
"You can have it all."
"You’re limited only by your imagination."

The self-help aisle at your local bookstore is full of assertions that we’ve read or heard so often, we’ve come to accept them as truth. The more skeptical among us may question content; the cynics often dismiss the genre outright. As an author myself, I’ve been thinking about the motives of those who write these books and take their messages on the road, drawing thousands and even millions of followers who embrace their propositions. "The Secret," and Oprah’s endorsement of it, was the phenomenon that got me seriously analyzing what’s going on behind our national self-help obsession.

Someone once said something to the effect that it’s hard to go broke underestimating the unhappiness of the American people. Most of the top-selling self-help books promise a simple recipe for achieving happiness or earning millions. (Most of the latter imply delivery of the former.) If you can develop a unique or even slightly fresh plan of action for cultivating contentment or wealth, and you can get it published, you yourself have a better shot than most at becoming richer and, by implication, happier. I can’t watch "The Secret" DVD without picturing all of those personal growth gurus imagining raking in dough by participating, and now having it be so. It certainly worked for them.

But that doesn’t make it a natural law, or true for the rest of us. I don’t even need to question whether or not they believe their own outsized success stories; I can assume that they do, and still wonder why they’re so sure their experience can be everyone else’s. I have great respect for Oprah Winfrey, but I take issue more and more often with her assertions that her phenomenal achievements are due only to her powers of manifestation, dedication and faith. She doesn’t believe there is any such thing as luck. But I know there are plenty of others who have applied the very same principles and practices to their lives and find themselves still struggling. It seems disingenuous for Oprah to imply that a more complex blend of opportunity, serendipity, smart associates, shrewd business, timing, charisma and yes, a lucky break or two, didn’t deliver her to a singular place in our current culture.

What I’m getting at is this: it’s hard to be told, over and over, that we can all have the life of our dreams if we’ll just follow steps A through Z. That if it doesn’t work out, we’re not doing it right. Or with enough passion. And while none of us wants to believe that those platitudes listed earlier might not be true, doesn’t it feel worse to believe them and then live a life of persistent contradiction?

A healthier approach might be to consider the advice as food for thought or even possibility, rather than guarantee. To recognize Oprah’s "Best Life" as a model, not a promise. To believe that we have more potential, greater adventures ahead, but that our particular road might not end in a pot of gold, but some other satisfaction. Maybe it’s the journey itself – a cliché that just might be worth embracing.

Trite Comfort

In this month’s Waking Up on the Planet e-newsletter, I talked about how little comfort we give to those who are struggling when we tell them "it’s meant to be," "everything happens for a reason" or "there’s a lesson in this for you." I suggested that, while we may embrace these theories, they excuse us from offering concrete help and healing – acknowledging a friend’s pain, allowing him or her to express it in whatever way offers relief, sitting in that uneasy place with our hearts, and listening ears, wide open. It’s not always easy to know what to say in the face of another’s despair, but knowing what not to say is equally useful:

"This, too, shall pass."
"He/she is in a better place now."
"He/she is better off now."
"It’s God’s will."
"It’s the way of the universe."
"It’s time to move on."
"Time heals all wounds."
"Be grateful for what you’ve got."
"It could be worse."
"Crying doesn’t solve anything."
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
"God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle."

All of these cliches fail to recognize how people’s grief, loss, disappointment or despair transforms the quality of their lives and demands expression, acknowledgment and some measure of relief. It needn’t be profound; usually the simplest offerings, like a visit, a meal, or your undivided attention will do.

Surely it’s true that "into each life, some rain must fall." But when you’re standing in a downpour, you don’t want quaint wisdom; you want an umbrella.

How to Help the Virginia Tech Family

Here are some simple actions you can take to help and support those recovering from the shootings at Virginia Tech; if you know of others, please share by commenting:

Virginia Tech family members all over the country have declared Friday, April 20, an "Orange and Maroon Effect" day. They invite everyone in the country to wear orange and maroon to support the school, community and family members of the victims.

Ask your local bookstore to host a reading of poetry and prose about healing from violence, and pass a hat around for donations. Send the money to the Safe Schools for Kids Virginia Tech Fund.
Ask your civic leaders to organize a candlelight vigil in your town.

Download the sign, created by blogger Nicco.org to show support for Virginia Tech. Print it out and post it in your car or home window, or on a community bulletin board.

Post your condolences online.

Suggest to your local high school that they invite a speaker from Rachel's Challenge to address students about alternatives to violence. Rachel's Challenge was founded by Columbine High School shooting survivor Craig Scott to honor his sister, who was killed in that tragedy.

Ask local businesses to donate a portion of their proceeds on a given day to the Virginia Tech Family Fund, University Development, 902 Prices Fork Road, Blacksburg, VA 24061.