Have a Helping Halloween

Halloween is perhaps my favorite holiday, and it's also the occasion of two of my favorite ways for kids to make a difference. Encourage your children to Trick or Treat for UNICEF, so they can help kids in need all over the world, or participate in Sight Night and get eyeglasses to those who so desperately need them. Either choice will make candy rewards feel all the more richly deserved.

Help for the Unemployed

Last week I promised to share ways that you can make a difference for a friend, colleague or family member who has lost his or her job. Consider the following:

> Offer to help, but don't push; let your friend define how you can lend support. You may assume that sending job leads is the best strategy, but s/he may prefer interview practice or just a listening ear.

> If you have good contacts, by all means share them, but get their permission first. Simply passing along names to your friend can put him in an uncomfortable position, especially when your contact has no idea who your friend is or why s/he is being contacted. Pave the way with advance notice or, better yet, a personal or mutual email introduction.

> Think of different ways you can help: Is your resume a winner? Offer to review your friend's. Or maybe you can conduct mock interviews, proofread cover letters or research potential leads.

> Ask your friend whether or not s/he wants you to inquire how the hunt is going. It's great that you're interested, but to a frustrated job-hunter, regular inquiries can feel like unwelcome pressure or confirmation of failure.

> Give your help freely, without expectation; don't get upset if your friend doesn't follow up every lead.

> Supply resources other than job leads: referrals to unemployment benefits, health care help, utility bill assistance, food stamps, mental health resources and job-hunt support groups can be even more valuable.

> Recognize how an unemployed person's social life changes, but don't abandon your cash-strapped friend. Realize that food, gas, movies, dining out and ticketed events may no longer be an option. Even better than offering to pay her way, which can make your friend feel like a charity case, suggest doing things that don't cost money. Drop by with dinner and a DVD, attend free performances or festivals, ask her to bring music for the party instead of wine or food. Don't leave your pal out of events such as a birthday celebration at a pricey restaurant; suggest that he or she drop by, or meet you before or after.

> Is a birthday or holiday approaching? Consider gifts carefully. Your friend might welcome the luxury of dinner out. Or maybe that seems wasteful and what s/he really needs is a grocery or gas gift card, the registration fee for a professional conference or seminar, a salon visit or a new interview outfit.

> Above all, resist judgment. It's easy to get exasperated and think that your friend just isn't trying hard enough. But many job-seekers are struggling with a crisis of self-confidence or even depression and are doing the best they can.

Do you have other suggestions? Please share them here.

A Writer With a Story

If you have read my book, The Difference a Day Makes, or pursued the suggestions I used to post at BenevolentPlanet.com, you know that I advocate personal action over cash donations. But today, a writing colleague is in dire need, and I'd like you to consider helping in any way you can. Lori Hall Steele is a prolific, talented writer and single mom who, just this past June, published an essay in the Washington Post that poignantly explored her young son's questions about death and separation. A few months later, Lori began having troubling symptoms that included a growing paralysis. She is now confined to a hospital bed and breathing support, diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease). Unable to work, she is in danger of losing the home she provides for 7-year-old Jack, and her mounting medical bills are staggering.

I've never met Lori, but I "know" her through the online writers' group I belong to. I have often marveled at the generosity of this group of virtual friends, and they are now mounting an extraordinary effort on behalf of Lori and her son. It is a testament to what we can do when we join forces with a shared purpose. Please read Lori's essay, visit her Web site, follow the blog, then find out what you can do to help -- from writing to her Michigan state representatives, to joining the effort's Facebook group, to passing the word to the other Everyday Altruists you know.

It's not often that we get to connect a face, and a very personal story, with a charitable act. Lori's story may be one among many, but it's one we can all sign our names to, as collaborators in compassion and faith.

How to Remember September 11

This Thursday is the seventh anniversary of the September 11 attacks on New York, Washington and Pennsylvania. Honor those who died, those who survived and those who still struggle to recover with a compassionate act:

Create a special envelope for the Remember September mail art project originated by Gail Ellspermann. Learn about it here. (Sample at left by Marney Makridakis of Artellaland.com.)

Do a kindness for another as part of a growing movement to make September 11 a national day of service. Learn more at mygooddeed.org.

Watch the PBS "Frontline" film, "Faith and Doubt at Ground Zero." (Ask your library if it has a copy to lend, or order it here.) Gather family and friends to watch with you.

Find out how others around the country are commemorating the events of seven years ago at the Families of September 11 site.

Multiply the effect by paying it forward: share these suggestions with 5 friends.

Minds Matter: Donate School Supplies

It’s that time of year again. Kids are headed back to school, and teachers are trying to equip classrooms with basic supplies. Because education budgets are strained, many teachers end up spending hundreds of dollars out of their own pockets to provide students with the tools they need to learn. You can help. Visit DonorsChoose.org or ILoveSchools.com and fulfill a classroom’s wish list. You can search for a specific school or look for one in an impoverished district. And you can donate any amount, based on your budget. Reach out to help a struggling student, and make learning a mutual joy.

No Place to Call Home

The current housing crisis in the United States gives us plenty of opportunity to practice compassion. Some say they have no sympathy for people who bought houses they couldn't afford. But the story is much more complex, with so many now suffering the fallout. Homeowners who would sell if they could, trapped in the continuing downturn. Neighbors whose property values plummet with each new foreclosure on the block. Lenders who counted on real estate values rising ever higher, justifying reckless loan terms. Renters who find themselves suddenly homeless as landlords lose houses to banks. Children who must leave friends, schools, even favorite possessions, in the wake of their family's financial ruin.

"Bill Moyers Journal" addressed the issues eloquently on its July 18 program. The episode makes clear that there is plenty of heartache to go around.

One category of victims you only occasionally hear about are the animal companions abandoned when owners or renters must go to a temporary home or shelter that won't permit animals. No Paws Left Behind is doing something about it, and you can, too, by visiting its Web site.

You can do something about the human toll, too, just by suspending the assumption that "they got what they deserve." Encourage your local leaders to come up with solutions for managing abandoned houses and relocating renters. Start a helpful dialog on your local newspaper's editorial page. Recognize that homelessness is fast on the rise and looks surprisingly like the folks next door.

Help Midwest Flood Victims

If you don't live in the American midwest, or in another area where rising waters have destroyed all you own, it may be hard to imagine leaving behind your home, the things you love, and maybe even the animal companions who depend on you in a sudden evacuation. Finding yourself waist-high in a toxic soup, trying to get yourself and your loved ones to safety. Bunking down in a temporary shelter with little more than the clothes on your back, not knowing what comes next. These are the hardships our fellow citizens are enduring in Iowa and surrounding states right now, and here are a few things you can do to help:

If you live in the area...

Grab some friends and volunteer to sandbag or help clean up once the waters recede. Find out where and how to pitch in at any of these three sites:
WGEM Quincy, Illinois
KCRG-TV Cedar Rapids, Iowa
2008flood.org

Can you take in someone’s animal companion temporarily, as a foster caretaker, while they are in a shelter that doesn’t accommodate dogs and cats? If not, local shelters are accepting donations of goods as well; read about the Iowa City Animal Care and Adoption Center’s needs here.


Whether you live near or far...
Ask your local coffeehouse or bookstore to host an evening of readings and/or music around the theme of rising waters and pass a hat for donations to be sent to one of these relief organizations:
American Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund
Mennonite Disaster Services

If you have a Web site or blog, download a Red Cross donation button and post it on your site.

Inform yourself, then tell a friend. Check out these up-to-the-minute reports, where you'll find photos, video and more:
Topix Midwest Floods report
Humane Society of the United States blog
American Red Cross blog

Remember, no effort is too small. You can make a difference in another's struggle and turn rising waters into a river of hope.

Promote Peace This Weekend

Monday is Memorial Day in the United States, a day to remember all those who have died in a war. To date, 4079 U.S. troops have lost their lives in Iraq. The number of Iraqi civilians killed isn’t reported by the U.S. government, but the lowest estimates range from some 84,000 to just under 92,000. Numbers like these can be numbing, hard to translate into human suffering. In America, we are prevented from seeing the coffins arriving at Dover Air Force Base, the funerals at Arlington Cemetery and small towns all over the country, the weeping mothers and wives, brothers and sisters whose loved ones will never come home.

This weekend, let’s remember each of them, as well as those who have died in other wars around the globe, at the appointed hour of 11 a.m., wherever you live, with a Prayer for Peace. You’ll find one here, and another in a downloadable mp3 file here. (Click on Prayer for Peace MP3.) And if you know someone who has lost someone in the devastation of war, send a note to let them know they aren’t forgotten.

Make a Difference in Myanmar

Eleven days after a cyclone devasted Myanmar, relief efforts are finally beginnng to make a bit of progress. While restrictions on reporters are limiting the amount of photos and video coming out of the country, those images that have emerged depict extraordinary suffering. If you are moved to help, here are some simple options:

Use the press releases and other information at the UN Refugee Agency's Web site to write a letter to the editor of your local paper, asking readers to help.

Buy graduation, wedding or Father's Day gifts at heartof.com or iGive.com and designate Myanmar-involved World Vision, Save the Children or the International Rescue Committee as your chosen charity. A percentage of your purchases from popular retailers will be donated to your designated cause at no extra expense to you.

Tell a teacher about the UN Refugee Agency’s resources for classrooms. Kids can then come up with their own ideas for reaching out to Myanmar's children.

Support the efforts of UNICEF by using Windows Live™ Messenger or Windows Live Hotmail®, Each time you use these free services, Microsoft donates a portion of ad revenue to the organization you choose.

Download a CARE International ringtone; remind yourself and your companions to take meaningful action every time your phone rings.

Cash donations allow relief organizations to purchase more than individuals can, buy locally from survivors, and direct aid to where it's needed most. Here are some reputable aid groups that are accepting donations for their work in Myanmar:

World Food Programme:
CARE International:
UN Refugee Agency:

A Call for Help in Congo

A recent episode of "60 Minutes" featured the women of the Democratic Republic of the Congo who live in constant fear of vicious rape by warring militias. It's difficult to imagine what they endure, but you can do something in response. Visit Women for Women International and learn more about this ongoing tragedy; then send a message of hope, or take another simple action on behalf of women around the globe.

How to Help the Virginia Tech Family

Here are some simple actions you can take to help and support those recovering from the shootings at Virginia Tech; if you know of others, please share by commenting:

Virginia Tech family members all over the country have declared Friday, April 20, an "Orange and Maroon Effect" day. They invite everyone in the country to wear orange and maroon to support the school, community and family members of the victims.

Ask your local bookstore to host a reading of poetry and prose about healing from violence, and pass a hat around for donations. Send the money to the Safe Schools for Kids Virginia Tech Fund.
Ask your civic leaders to organize a candlelight vigil in your town.

Download the sign, created by blogger Nicco.org to show support for Virginia Tech. Print it out and post it in your car or home window, or on a community bulletin board.

Post your condolences online.

Suggest to your local high school that they invite a speaker from Rachel's Challenge to address students about alternatives to violence. Rachel's Challenge was founded by Columbine High School shooting survivor Craig Scott to honor his sister, who was killed in that tragedy.

Ask local businesses to donate a portion of their proceeds on a given day to the Virginia Tech Family Fund, University Development, 902 Prices Fork Road, Blacksburg, VA 24061.